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Dec. 8th, 2009 @ 01:29 am Movies I have seen in the last few weeks or so:
Current Mood: listless
And I'm only counting actual DVDs, not movies on TV!

Trapped In Paradise
Flash Gordon (both of these because of my step-dad, lol)
Chicago
Wall-E
Twilight
The Ugly Truth
G.I. Joe
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
My Sister's Keeper
Night At the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Star Trek (the most recent one)
Madagascar - this wasn't bad, and some of it had me rolling, but overall, not that impressed. I love Cars and Kung Fu Panda WAY more

If I included the ones on TV, I'm sure I'd forget a bunch, but yeah, I've been watching a LOT of movies lately.

I've been watching SO many movies!

I saw Kung Fu Panda for the first time and LOVED it! I also really love The Fifth Element and bought it on Blu-Ray for like $10 at Walmart which I think is pretty awesome. I'm so excited that BluRay movies are coming out cheaper and cheaper. :D
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fangirls
Dec. 3rd, 2009 @ 10:37 pm Going after dreams
Current Mood: hopeful
The past few weeks has been interesting. I've done a LOT of writing! I tried watching the more difficult parts of the story I've been working on, parts that are very emotional, and I sucked!! So, I started doing some creative writing exercises and that got my creative juices flowing and now I can't stop writing! I've finally settled into a flow that I like for the story and am trying to write things out in a chronological order and then I'm going to rearrange it to the flow I have in mind once it's all done.

I've written so many pages starting from when my characters are just children all the way up to high school. I've got way more to write, but I feel like I'm done with half of the battle. And it feels really great to actually be finishing it! And I am determined to finish this story! I've been working on it for over a year and it's turning out to be so good. So much better then I planned originally. :)

I'm so excited! I'm a writing fool!
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Twilight Thing
Nov. 21st, 2009 @ 09:33 am Yeah, I'm the penguin today
Current Music: Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me
I haven't posted in a very long time. I've actually sort of had a writer's block.

I started to write again last month, mostly just trying to finish up stories I had already started, and then it just stopped. I got to a section of the story I'm writing that is being really difficult for me. I can write about love and romance, I can write about joy and happiness, but I have a hard time writing sorrow and pain. When I write, I connect to my characters deeply, and when I try writing about loss or hard times, its like my brain shuts off and I'm just writing words on the page. I'm not connected to them, and therefore, they look and read like words on a page. It's terrible.

So, I started to do some creative writing exercises, but I've put it all on hold for a time, because I had other projects I needed to complete first. My mom's husband is going to ask for his green card and they need as much as they can that they have a good marriage (and he's not here just to get his green card), so I decided to put together a wedding album for the two of them. And actually, it's so much more then just a wedding album. What I've decided to do is put together an album of the first year of marriage. I had the idea for my album too, but I've yet to start mine.

I had so much fun putting together mom's album and the two liked it so much. I really want to do more, but I need to go and print out pictures, which costs money and I don't have a whole lot right now.

Wow, I'm finally hearing Leighton Meester's new song. I've heard snippets of it before now. It's not a bad song, but I like Cobra Starship's Good Girls Go Bad song better (she's featured in that song).

Anyway, Justin has a part time job working for UPS, helping the drivers (not driving), but hopefully it'll get his foot in the door for him to stay on. He's been trying to get hired at the local warehouse for forever, so he's really excited. I'm kind of mad at him right now, because he went up state to go take some classes to be a flagger and I had asked him not to. I'm not mad that he wants to take the class, I'm mad because he's making me worry. I have no idea how much gas is in the car and if he can make it there and back on what's in the car. I don't know how much money he has with him. I don't know how much he's going to spend. That's why I'm mad. It wasn't planned very well, and now I may not be able to see New Moon because of it. That makes me mad.

I hurt my foot a week ago and it is still bothering me. I'm planning on calling the doctor on Monday and see when I can get in to see him. I'm absolutely positive its not the bone. I know what bone injuries feel like, and I couldn't barely walk on it when I had fractures. It could be a sprain but I don't think so. I think it's the tendons around the ankle, I might have torn a ligament or something. But honestly, it mostly doesn't hurt so much unless I move it certain ways. I can walk on it almost just fine (stairs sometimes hurt a little), so I'm not too worried about it, but yeah, I am a little worried because it is still swollen.

And I guess that's all for now.
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Penguin Poke
Nov. 3rd, 2009 @ 11:42 am Update
Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Simple Plan - Perfect
I haven't posted in a long time. In fact, I should've seen when I last posted, cuz I have no idea how much to update! LOL

Quick run through:

Justin got fired from Wal-mart, hasn't found a job yet.

Mom quit her job because of my cousin Kathy trying to get her fired.  Got hired at K-mart as a cashier.

Phil got his social and applied for a job everywhere. Got hired as an overnight stocker at Wal-mart.

And for me? Working 40+ hours a week to make ends meet, worrying about Justin finding a job, and sleeping for long long hours on my days off.  I think I slept like 11 and a half hours last night/this morning.

But things are okay.  I mean, we're not starving. We have a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and food in our bellies. What more could we ask for?  Granted, Christmas is coming up, but I've already decided to buy just a couple of presents total, like one for Justin, one for mom, one for Phil, and that's it. I can't afford to give everyone presents every year, as much as I would like to.

There really isn't much to post about, lol! I mean I suppose I could rant and rave about a lot of things, especially the shit Kathy was giving my mom, but that's well over now.  I'm still pissed at her, and ignore her as though she's a common stranger whenever I see her.  As long as she gives me the same courtesy, we'll be fine. But if she starts saying things, then there are a lot of things I could be saying as well.  And I'd just as soon not get into any of that.

Anyway, other then work, all I do is play on pogo.com, it used to be just word whomp, but my mom, Phil, and I have started playing Scrabble there, and since then, I've branched out and have started playing a lot of the games on there like Trivial Pursuit, Sims Pin Ball, and Boggle! :) Now if they had Clue, I'd be really happy! LOL.

Oh, I found out yesterday that a relative of mine passed away. Filberto Perea, my grandma's brother, so my great uncle. Dunno how he died yet, but he was 71 years old. There's only a couple of living relatives from the Perea family now and everyone is feeling the sadness from the loss. I'm honestly not sure if I ever met him, or not.

Well, that's it for now. I'll try to get on here more often, its just that working 10 hour days makes it kind of hard to really do anything the rest of the day (I work 8:30-7 on the weekdays), so I'm usually working, then coming home, watching my TV shows or cooking dinner, then going to bed. I've split up my days a little differently though. I now have Saturdays off and am working the 10:30-9 shift on Sundays, so that I'll be able to do things with my family on Saturday (since everything is actually closed on Sundays), which I like. I get Mondays and Tuesdays and Saturdays off now. :) They're not all together, but that's okay. It'll break up the monotony of it for now, I hope.
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Penguin Poke
Oct. 12th, 2009 @ 09:31 am DWTS!
That's stands for Dancing With the Stars! lol I've been doing a DWTS marathon! I have 6 episodes recorded on DVR and I needed to catch up! So this week, I can watch all of my shows (well, almost all) live, yay!

Anyway, I LOVE DWTS!  It is so so hard to choose a favorite, because so many of them are great.  I like all of the dancers.  Some of them are much better then others, but the ones that improve the most are really great to watch too! So its really hard to choose favorites.  But if I absolutely had to choose, I think I'd choose Natalie (the Olympic winner) and of the guys... Louie (the snowboarder), haha, he's so cute!  But Donny Osmond is great, so is um... Marc (I think that's how it's spelled), he's the martial artist that is also a host on some chef show.  He's great, as is Aaron Carter (surprisingly enough).

It's all I can think about lately. :)
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I'm Cheesy
Oct. 10th, 2009 @ 09:29 am Shit
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Anna Nalick - Breathe (2AM)
Why does my family have to have nothing but drama and bullshit? 

It's finally come to the point that my mom has quit working at Sorenson, because of Kathy. It's a long story and I don't really feel like telling it right now, but it's a bunch of bullshit and I'm sick of it.

Because of Kathy, our workplace has been "keeping an eye" on both of us, and because of that, my mom has quit.  I feel very close to quitting, because I don't feel trusted or respected at work any more.  If I'm not trusted then why should I trust them?  Why should I keep doing a job where I don't feel comfortable? 

They're using Facebook to spy on me now.  I've been so stressed the last few days that I actually got sick from it, sore throat, coughing, body aches, the works.  And now, when I go back to work today (I've missed two days), I know they're going to be suspicious that I was just fine and blowing off work, which isn't fair.  I feel like I have censor Facebook now, because of those jerks and that's not fair.  

I'm sick of it all.  I'm sick of these office politics that didn't used to exist until Kathy worked there.  I'm sick of everyone being in my business just because this town is too fucking small to have any anonymity. I'm tired of gosspimongering mindless idiots.  I hate going to work and seeing all of their snooty faces with their upturned noses as though they're any better then me.  Well, they're not.  They're on the same earth as me.  They have the same feelings of me.  They feel pain, sorry, joy, and happiness, same as me, and truth be told, I'M better for knowing that.  So I am better then them, but do I turn my nose up?  Nope.  I'm a better person for that.  

I still don't want to go to work.
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Crying cutie
Sep. 23rd, 2009 @ 10:30 pm Happy Birthday to me!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: watching Oceans Thirtheen
I had a great birthday!

First of all, I took Saturday off as a vacation day so that I had my entire birthday weekend off. Well, it just so happened that my extra day off (the 19th - Saturday) was Melon Days in Green River!  Now, Green River is not much of anything really.  One stop light in the whole city, not big department stores, but a LOT of farms.  And Old MacDonald had a lot of melons!  Melons that are fantastic! Seriously, you will never, ever taste melons any better then the ones you'll get in Green River. And on Melon Days in Green River, they give it away for FREE!

I think free is the best word in our language, don't you?  Anyway, so the 19th is the day to get the best melon absolutely free, as much as you want, when you want. So of course, I went.  I took my husband, my mom, and her husband. We had SO much fun.  Granted, we were only there a couple of hours, lol, but we ate a lot melon! Watermelon, honeydew, cantaloupe, and another one whose name escapes me at the moment. Either way, it was super yummy!!

Anyway, the 20th, my birthday, Justin's mom, Brenda, took Justin and me to Hogle Zoo!!  Salt Lake has a zoo! And I LOVED it!  It was so much fun!  We saw all kinds of interesting animals and baby animals! The newest addition to the zoo is a baby elephant and she was so adorable!  There was also three new baby tigers! And they were playing with mama tiger! And mama tiger was giving them all baths! It was great!  I got some great pics!  And then there was the baby giraffe! Can you believe it? Another baby!  And the baby was trying to feed on mama, but she wasn't having any of it, lol so she went back inside. Still, it was awesome seeing all these baby animals.

We watched a bird show as well, and that was amazing! The birds were literally flying over our heads, inches away from us and they were so majestic and magnificent. It was really an awesome day, but man! The zoo is built all over the mountain, so its a lot like six flags in that you get a major work out!

Well, we ended up going to eat at Golden Corral afterwards and I totally pigged out! But it was worth it!  I had an excellent angus sirloin (which doesn't happen too often, considering it's sirloin), but it was great, and I had pot roast and potatoes and ice cream. lol, it was freaking awesome!!

Monday was an interesting day, mostly because I couldn't move! LOL! Remember, zoo built on side of the mountain? Yeah, all those uphills were killer on my calves and because of it, I hobbled around most of the day on Monday. It was sad, but my calves are in much better shape. :D  So, I just sat around and watched TV most of the day.

Tuesday though, was really great, because it was the day of my actual birthday party! And that was so great! My mom and Phil put together a Cars party for me! It was awesome! I actually can't remember everything I got, because I got so much great stuff!  But I'll take stock by the weekend and report back.  It's nearly midnight, and I should be in bed, but I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd come post a little bit about my weekend. :D
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Pretty Cupcake
Sep. 19th, 2009 @ 03:53 pm My first Slumber Party!!
Current Location: United States, Utah, Price
Current Mood: content
Current Music: watching Hancock
I went to my first Slumber Party last night!  It was so much fun!  Unsurprisingly, I knew the consultant and a few of the other girls there at the party from work. It was really great going too.  I was undecided about going mostly because my cousin that I'm not speaking to was going.  Well, she didn't even show up.  So, the party was much more enjoyable without having to try avoid looking or speaking to her.

Anyway, the girl who was hosting the party, Jessica, is someone I know from work and we keep meaning to hang out but haven't gotten a chance to.  Well, we got a chance to, and it was super fun. Her and I were sitting next to each other and also with us was Natasha who's another friend at work.  I was super surprised to see her there!  She's very conservative, but she's got a great sense of humor.  She just needs to come out of her shell a bit, I think.  I dunno how old she is, but she's about where I was when I was like 20. :D  

At the beginning of the party, everyone was rather standoffish and quiet, but by the end we were cheering and laughing and all having such a good time. The demonstration took about 2 hours, and everything Kristy (the consultant) showed was so much fun.  There were moisturizers and creams, lubes and toys.  It was better then a sex store! hehe!  My hand was going numb from all the vibrators being passed around!  The most interesting were the creams and stuff.  They have a cream that helps tighten up your tissue in a lady's front door so that it feels like she's a virgin again!  It's amazing!  LOL!  There's nipple stimulants, door bell stimulants, and more!  It was really amazing.

I say its better then going to a sex store because the consultant explained everything so well!  She explained the sensual uses as well as other practical uses.  She made it so much fun and so safe feeling.  I dunno if that makes sense or not.  But even to the most conservative person, this stuff is amazing and eye opening, as long as you have an open mind. :D

So, I'm going to host my own party. :D

It'll be in November some time. And sorry guys, this is LADIES ONLY! And you must be 18 years or older.  No children whatsoever.

Needless to say, I bought stuff. ;)  Some lingerie, and some body glitter to be glitz and glamour for my birthday (which is tomorrow), and some other miscellaneous stuff that I don't care to disclose to the entire universe! LOL, that's between me and (get this) my husband!! ;)

www.slumberparties.com/Checkout/ShopOnline.aspx

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cute eeyore
Sep. 9th, 2009 @ 09:31 pm Getting this off my chest now...
Current Mood: irritated
My wedding was a huge success, and I am very grateful to all those who helped.  We had plenty of food, cake, music, etc. In fact, we had an abundance of food and cake.  We had so much, it was nearly enough to feed about 50 people!  Know why?  I'll tell you why. 

Because I was expecting there to be at least 50 people!!

Lets see, how many were there actually... My mom, my dad, my step-dad (3), Justin's mom and dad (2), his grand parents (3), his uncle Clyde, his uncle George and his family (5), his aunt Cindy and her family (4), the bishop (of course) and his wife (2), a couple of ladies from the birthday club (2)... 22 people.  Not even half of what I had planned.

Now, granted, I had my whole episode where I freaked out and called off the wedding, okay. Fine.  So, the people out of town didn't come, but I really expected the people IN TOWN that I invited to come.  The people who told me they'd come but didn't were understandable, because they had to work and said they'd come on their lunch breaks.  Well, we ended up packing up earlier then anticipated, so that's why they didn't come.  I understand that.

The ones I'm mad at are the ones I specifically told about the ceremony before the BBQ, the one who took the day off but didn't show up, the ones I knew had the day off and still didn't show up.  Especially the ones that are my blood relatives and live within miles of me!!

I am very upset and hurt that my own "family" couldn't be "bothered" to come, or just "didn't feel like coming."  Where was I when they got married?  When they needed babysitters?  When they had no car and needed help getting around town?  Who was there for them when they moved into their own place and let them BORROW my things in order for them to not spend as much as the could have on getting these things themselves?  Who STILL has the things I let them borrow even though they are mine and I needed them back when I moved out on my own? 

My "family."

I hate to break it to you all, but that isn't what family is about.  You don't just ignore a big life altering event, an event that is uplifting and happy for everyone involved!  Not when that person having the event has done what she could for you. 

It's not fair.  And I'm done.  I don't want anything to do with them any more.  They can kiss my ass.  I have a new family now.  I'm Mrs. Fish, and I am proud of it, because the Fish family know how to stick together.  I know that if I needed any one of them, that I could call them and ask for help and it would be given, no questions asked.  My own family can't even do that!!  

Because of my own observations about one of my cousins, I made a scathing remark about her and somehow, my opinion has gotten out (not hard to do in this stupid small town), but my uncle is being blamed for it!  And he was here all of 3 hours!!

That's another thing.  My uncle, whom I love very much, flew out on my wedding day just to spend a few hours with me, because he knew I wanted him there.  A few hours!  And the family in town couldn't even come.  It just makes me so boiling mad!!  And it really hurts! 

Tomorrow, I have to go to work, where I work with one of my cousins who didn't feel like going (read that to mean that she got rip roaring drunk the night before and had a hang over like you wouldn't believe to bother getting out of bed, let alone to go to a wedding reception that probably wouldn't even have any alcohol -- which it didn't -- because a bunch of Mormons were going to be there).  I'm not looking forward to going.  I swear, if she even so much as try to instant message me at work, I'm just ignoring her.  If she tries to talk to me, I'll answer her cordially as though I don't know her, because why should I give her the time of day?  She's a stranger to me now, not even worth knowing.

Can you tell I'm angry?
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Penguin Poke
Sep. 5th, 2009 @ 11:30 pm UPDATED: My wedding day!
Current Mood: sleepy
I'm writing this a few days after my wedding day, as I've been a bit busy actually.  Not honeymooning, like everyone thinks, although it hasn't been a bad past couple of days off.  We got a couple of gift cards from Wal-mart, and went and spent those already. We bought a lot of things for the house that we needed, like a shower caddy and a rack to go in the bathroom. Miscellaneous stuff that was necessary but unaffordable at the time and with the help of the gift cards was affordable. Yay. Then we had to put them together. Oh joy, lol.

I also got the bright idea to just put the library and all my miscellaneous stuff upstairs. So, Justin's been working on that.

But anyway! The wedding.  It was great. I can't believe the day came and went so quickly. When I got up, it seems like all I was doing was going going going! Really, though, I didn't do too much.  All I did was get ready.  I helped my mom and did her hair (I had straightened mine the night before and we found that curling straight hair isn't the easiest thing to do!), and then got myself ready. I put on press on nails and then kept putting them on as they kept falling off, lol. I did my make up and then put the corset and dress on. That was a chore, lol, because it laces in the back all the way down.

Once that was done, we were on our way to the park and I was being ushered into the women's restroom to wait to walk down the aisle. Brenda, Justin's mom, had a bouquet made for me, and boutineers (or however it's spelled) made for all the guys, so the guys went and got theirs.  Then there was an issue of the music player not working, but they got it working after a bit, but I have no idea what I walked to. LOL!

My dad and I struggled a bit to figure out which side he was supposed to walk on, but we got it done and I was walking down the aisle, towards my love. I could barely see anything through my veil, it was the oddest feeling.  Everything happened so fast!  The bishop asked us to take each other's right hand and we said our "I do's" and exchanged rings.  My mom was holding Justin's band, and I have no idea who was holding mine for Justin (apparently, the bishop had it, I just asked him).  Poor Justin was shaking like a leaf, I had to help him get it on my finger. And then we were kissing.

We took endless amounts of pictures.  I still need to get the pictures from the rest of his family, but I have the ones people took with his camera. I wish I had taken mine.  I love the way pictures come out on my camera.  Justin's camera is a bit tempermental.  Anyway, the pics came out all right and I've posted them onto my Facebook profile, as well as my Myspace page.

Then we signed the license and certificate and were barbecuing soon after! The bbq was a huge success.  We had plenty of food! The only problem was that not many people were there.  Justin's aunts and cousins came, his uncles, and grandparents, his parents, and my parents and that was it.  A friend of mine from work showed up with her kids, and that was great, but not many were there for me.  A couple of people from the birthday club were there too, but just not as many as we expected there to be. We have a LOT of food left over, not to mention cake!  It was a fun day though and everyone had so much fun!

And the gifts! LOL! I told everyone that a gift wasn't necessary and yet there were still gifts to unwrap!  

I have a lot more to write, so I'll have to update this at another time, when I'm less sleepy.

UPDATE:

Okay, I'm ready to finish my update, because I have a major rant afterwards to do.

Anyway, after we ate, Justin and I cut the cake.  No, we didn't smash the cake into each other's faces like everyone thinks is so funny and fun to do.  I don't find it particularly fun to smash cake into anyone's face, or have it smashed into mine, especially when it could fall and get smeared on my pretty and expensive white dress. :P  He did shove a huge piece in my mouth, and I him, but that was about it. lol.  The cake was huge!  We got a sheet cake (thinking all these people were going to show up and eat it with us), and Justin bought a cake topper for us, which was really beautiful.  Hm, I guess I will post a couple of pictures of the cake:


Once the cake was done, I decided to change out of my big white dress, and that's when Mandy showed up. LOL! She at least got to see me before I changed out of it. I put on my sun dress and was much more comfortable.  The dress I was wearing wasn't that uncomfortable, but very heavy and getting dirty with every step I took.

And once I was out of the big white dress, Justin and I tackled the gifts! We got a steamer and colander from his grandparents (on his mother's side).  There was a quilt, kitchen towel set, washcloths, baking sheets, lingerie, and money from his grandmother (on his father's side).  The quilt was really great!  Some parts of it were made from old t-shirts Justin had worn, which I think is really great.  It's really pretty.  When I get a pic of it, I'll post it here. His uncle Clyde got us a slow cooker! A really nice steel one, too!  We've already used it.  Justin made us a roast yesterday, it was so good!  More on that later!

His unlce Georgie and aunt Merrilyn gave us a $50 card to Wal-mart.  I'm trying to remember everything (mostly so that I don't forget who gave me what so I can send out the thank you cards)!  A couple of girls from the birthday club came and gave us a bunch of stuff! We got this really pretty set of swan decorated picture frame, decorative box, and a bell. Also, they gave us a pie making set, which has a pie dish, pie cutter, and a kitchen towel. I think there was something else, but I really can't remember...  My mom and Phil got us a Blu-Ray player, and Wall-E on Blu-Ray!  I saw Wall-E the other day on TV and fell in love with it!  The cables that came with the player though are way too short! They don't even come up around the back of the TV! So, I found an HDMI cable I bought, so I'll hook it up on the TV upstairs, since Justin's TV doesn't even have an HDMI hookup on it.

Overall, it was a really great day, and we all had so much fun, but we were pretty much finished by about 2:00! Actually, earlier in the day, a guy came over and was asking if we had reserved the park, and I was like, um, yes. I reserved it months and months ago, like back in April.  I had called and canceled the kitchen, because we decided we didn't need it, but I was quite clear that I still wanted the park for the wedding.  Well, later on in the day, the same guy came over and was apologetic, because somehow things got mixed up, but they did have my reservation. Well, they had booked another party to come in at 5 that night, so it was good that we were done by 2, so he had plenty of time to clean up, which I'm sure he appreciated.  But we were supposed to be there all day and a few of my friends were going to stop by on their lunch break. Oh well.

Afterwards, Justin and I just came home and started putting things away.  We were getting the food put away when we heard a knock on the backdoor.  We both just thought it was like my mom or Phil bringing us something we forgot, but when Justin answered the door, it was my uncle Charlie!!  I was so happy!  We showed him around the messy house, and then just sat and talked.  Apparently he got to the park just right after we all left, because it was empty, and he drove past mom's house, but they weren't there, so they were probably still here helping us bring in things.  He ended up going over to Natalie's house and she told him where we lived, he saw my mom and she also helped him to find our house, and that was that.  We just told him what was going on around town and how the wedding was.  We let him see the pictures that were on Justin's camera and took a few pictures to show that he was here! LOL.  It was really nice seeing him.

He was surprised that my dad was already gone, oh, and I forgot to mention that.  My dad ended up leaving shortly after the ceremony, because he's doing remodeling on his condo and there were people that he needed to get back for to let them in the condo. I was super happy he came, but a little sad to see him go.  It was just a turnaround trip for him, and for Charlie too.  Charlie only stayed a few hours and then was back on the road to Salt Lake, because he had an early flight back to San Francisco the next morning.

So, overall, I was very happy with how everything went on my wedding day.  I am super glad that I wore the big white dress instead of the sun dress.  I loved how it felt being a princess for a day, in my big dress and tiara. It was a magical day and I am so so happy. :D
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Water Heart
Sep. 3rd, 2009 @ 11:48 pm Date Night
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Dixie Chicks - Ready to Run
I had this completely crazy idea to try to get all sorts of things done in the next couple of days.  I wrote everything down on paper.  I made a list.  It was set.  LOL!  About the only thing I managed to get done in the last couple of days was the music list which is an enormous list of music.  Still, I think its going to be great.  Once I finally sat back and decided to ENJOY myself, things worked out really well.

And instead of grabbing hair and yanking, I decided to relax and let things flow naturally.  So, Justin and I had date night tonight. :D

My whole day was crappy.  I was in a crappy mood, I was getting nothing but fraud calls at work and not getting anything to nail them for the fraud idiots that they were, and was generally feeling like crap.  Then, a wonderful thing happened!  I. Ate. Lunch.  

Seriously, my fridge is barren at the moment.  I'm planning on doing some grocery shopping tomorrow and getting the necessities, but for the past couple of days, I've had toast for breakfast. 

Now, I'm not a morning person by nature.  Mornings and I do NOT see eye to eye.  After all, I vowed to myself to never, and I mean that: NEVER, wake up before the sun for anything ever again after I finished high school.  Someone had the bright idea to make "0" period, and my band director jumped on it, thinking that half alive high school students would just be so eager and perky to get up at 5:30 in the morning, to be at school at 6:30 in the morning.  Well, waking up at 5:30 turned into 6:00, and then ended up being 6:30, so that I was pretty much late every day. :)

So, I require sustenance before greeting the world, which means I ALWAYS eat breakfast before leaving the house.  If I do not... well, lets just say that today was probably defcom 5 on my scale of 1 being okay and 10 being fire and brimstone. 

Well, I ate my regimen of toast and washed it all down with plain water, which was bottled and cold, but plain, because we have no orange juice, no milk, and no other juice in the house right now, and went off to work.  Defcom 1 turned into 5 pretty quickly.  It was briefly a 9 for about 10 minutes, because of my beloved. I made a simple request, which I felt he was ignoring, and instead was asking to buy things that were not necessary and using money that needed to go to the wedding or our food. So I told him in no uncertain terms that if he purchased anything, we would not be having a wedding, and we would also starve. 

This was right before lunch.  Lunch is pretty much whenever I want to go.  I mean, there is some stupid program that we "follow" for our breaks and lunches.  It predicts patterns based off of previous years to send all of the employees on their breaks when it's supposed to be "less busy."  I've found that it is NEVER right and when I'm actually scheduled is NOT "less busy" but most busy.  So, I just ignore it.  I leave it open on my desktop, but for the most part, it decorates the desktop similar to the Garfield plushie on top of my TV: it sits there, collecting dust, and is glimpsed at minutely as my eyes wander. :)

Anyhow, so I'm on lunch now and I'm eating (after throwing my food into the microwaves and slamming their doors) and a friend comes in and she lets me vent to her. She's a sweetheart. So, I vent my frustrations and really, I feel okay afterwards. About an hour later, I feel pretty damned stupid.  I look at my cell and my fiance has left me a nice but poignant note saying that because I'm having a bad day doesn't mean I should take it out on him.  

Needless to say, I apologized. :)

After work, Justin and I went out to dinner and spent a decent amount of money on mediocre food (although I must admit, my steak with mushrooms was delicious) and then went to the movies.  We ended up having to wait like 45 mins for the movie I wanted to see, which wasn't my first choice.  I had looked at the theater's website earlier today and it said The Time Traveller's Wife was going to be there, but it wasn't, not til tomorrow! I was disappointed.  However, there is a bright side!  Julie & Julia was still showing and tonight was the last night! So I got to see it!  

It was inspiring!  LOL, not like I need to tell you.  Obviously, I'm inspired.  I haven't written this much since... July! Nothing can be more inspiring to me then seeing Morning Musume in person!  But still, this movie was about food (my favorite subject) and about blogging!  I know I don't blog nearly half as much as I used to and I rarely blog about anything important, but I felt inspired by Julie & Julia.  

I could identify with the main character, because like Julie, I work at a job where I sit in a gray box (otherwise known as a cubicle) and then I come home to my honey and rinse and repeat.  It gets monotonous.  And like Julie, I consider myself half a writer.  Well, maybe not half a writer, but not a whole writer.  I blog.  And I start writing stories.  I used to write poetry, not very good poetry. But I've never been published.  And like her, I feel that makes ALL the difference in the world.

I do feel that blogging is a way to write and is a valid form of writing, but it's self publishing which has as much clout in the real world as selling your own CDs out of the back of your car.  Sure, its your work, and you're working hard at getting yourself out there, but it isn't quite the same as having an agent, a publicist, an editor, a publisher, etc.

The movie inspires me to want to do more with my life.  I get inspired easily.  A good commercial.  A pretty card.  Clouds.  I've never followed through on a single thing, also like Julie in the movie. Everything has always been a hobby or a passing whim.  I played the clarinet for years, way before I started this blog.  But I played it, and I was good.  I was really good.  I had good timing and rhythm, excellent technique, and a pretty darn good ear for tone.  I gave all of that up, and I'm still not even sure why.  I've looked back and thought why didn't I continue it?  I loved to play, but nothing sticks out as a main reason, except for maybe the fact that I hated to audition and so I didn't go to auditions when they opened up for concert band.  

Well, this blog is entirely too long as it is, so I'll end here with: maybe I should find something more permanently inspiring.  Julie had Julia, but what does Danielle have? I need to do some thinking and come up with some sort of goal or purpose in life.  Right now, I'm just existing.  I'm not really living and i need to find something to help me live again.
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Pretty Cupcake
Sep. 2nd, 2009 @ 11:27 pm Final wedding music disc count:
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: U2 - With or Without You
11!

That should be sufficient amount of music to last us ALL DAY LONG! lol!

Good night!

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Penguin Poke
Sep. 2nd, 2009 @ 10:11 pm Two hours...
Current Location: My living room
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Shania Twain - (If You're Not in It For Love) I'm Out of Here
It took me TWO HOURS to go through the music on my HDD and on my external HDD in order to pull out songs that are either fun, romantic, dance-y, or that I just like to create for our wedding music!!  LOL, granted, it could've been worse... I could've gone through all my imports and foreign language music, not including the anime and the video game music... That would've taken HOURS longer! XD

But it's done and I'm making the first disc  now! I'm sure I won't need as many discs as I'm probably about to make (and I have NO idea how many, because I just put all the songs into one folder and am going to go until I get to the last song...), but I'm sure I'll like the CDs anyway. I can put em in my car. :D

So, things are progressing (onto disc 2!) rather nicely.  My dad is going to leave tomorrow afternoon and arrive sometime in the afternoon on the 4th.  My mom's agreed to do the grilling at the BBQ.  Justin's mom is going to get the cake and bring her table centerpieces and the paperware (plates, cutlery, etc.).  I have a rough idea of how many to expect, and Justin and I are going to go shopping on Friday morning.  I'll get half of my hair done on Friday and Mom will come over and help me with the curling on Saturday morning.

I have made lists of things I'll need so I don't forget anything.  I have a time schedule for things I need to do tonight, tomorrow night (after work), and on Friday.  And then after that, it'll be done! Finally!!

LOL!

I'm really happy to be doing all this, but I'll be glad when it's all over. (Disc 3 now!)  And I'm really glad that my dad is going to be here.  I wish Elvia had gotten to back to me to at least tell me she wasn't going to be coming, because at this point, I'm fairly sure that she won't be here. And that really disappoints me.  I know why Angelica can't be here, she looks like she's about to explode!!  That baby girl is going to give her a hard time, poor Angelica!  But I can't wait to see lil Audrey!  She's going to be so beautiful. :D

Oh, and my house is looking GOOD! So I'll have pics soon! Probably not til after the wedding! LOL!  My living room is clean, and upstairs actually looks like a ROOM and not a storage unit! LOL!  Honey, that's where you'll be sleeping, by the way! So I made it more homely for you! :D  Oh, and the TV doesn't work upstairs like we'd wanted, but I've got a DVD player AND the PS2! Woot! Hehe!  I'm seriously rethinking how I want the house.

(Shadow of the Day and What's my Age again... If I post this accidentally, just ignore it, its my place marker in the folder)

Disc 4 now!

Wow, if I can get the music all done tonight, that'll be great!  I was supposed to take a shower tonight, but I guess its getting too late for that. Meh. No biggie. I am too wired right now, lol, because of all this.  I swear! The wedding is the last thing I think of before going to bed and its the first thing I think of when I wake up!!  Its driving me nuts! But in a good way. :D

I think I've rambled on enough about this, so I'll go do facebook things, but I'll have to post the disc count when they're all made, lol!

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Dizzy piggie
Aug. 30th, 2009 @ 08:51 pm 6 days to go...
Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Something Ayumi...
I guess I should be nervous or doing something, but I'm totally not. LOL, I mean towards the wedding, of course. Everything is planned out, the only thing that I'm still trying to decide to do is my wedding favors.  I have pictures to put into thank you cards, but I'm not sure if I want to hand them out at the wedding, or send them with the gifts, but then there's the fact that I may not get any gifts, lol, since I did put in the invite that gifts are not necessary. So, I'm thinking that I want to hand them out with my little favors that I'm making. Then I've got to find envelopes to fit them too.  I have a few ideas on that too, but meh, I'm sure it'll all come together in the next week. :D

In the mean time, I'll play DOAX2 some more! :D
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Cute little kitty
Aug. 29th, 2009 @ 12:11 am Ken Murillo
Where are you?
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Cute little kitty
Aug. 26th, 2009 @ 08:21 pm I wonder...
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: calm
Does anyone even read my posts any more? LOL! Seriously! For who's benefit is it that I continue updating my blog?  Does anyone really care? 

I don't mean to sound all pensive and down, but I just wondered who is it really that I write to? 

When I write, I like to think that I'm writing to the masses, and that they actually care about MY life. Its as though I'm writing my life story out on Live Journal, but the thing is, I don't really include anything very personal.  I like to complain, I like to comment, and I like to state my opinions.  I don't want to offend anyone, but I am very opinionated and I know not everyone shares my ideas or values. 

That's the allure of the Internet, though, isn't it?  For some, it is to find people who share your ideas and opinions, and for others, its to find people who don't so that you can argue your point with them.  Most call that debate, but really, its arguing, lol.

Mmm, I can smell my baked potatoes...

Yes, that is really random! Hehehe!

Anyway, today was a great day, because it passed so swiftly. I'm coloring this huge Celtic knot poster at work and it takes a lot of time and concentration, which helps me not to watch the clock, which means time passes quicker.  Plus, it was very busy too.  I actually didn't color as much as I'd like because it was so busy. Still, coloring this poster is great.

Its time for me to check my potatoes and go back to Stars Wars 3 (sith wars, I think). 
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Twilight Thing
Aug. 25th, 2009 @ 03:30 pm I am so happy!
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Hilary Duff - Come Clean, Tommy February6 - Hello My Friend, H!P - All For One
So, I've been working most of my weekend to finish up unpacking my house, and while I still have a LOT of totes to go through, I'm done with just about all of the boxes! Everything is out of tissue paper and most of the things I want to put out are at least in the room I want them in, so I'm super encouraged!  Granted things still look a mess, but you can see floor in the living room and walk around in it, and dance around if so inclined!  My library was nearly clean earlier today (until I moved what was left of the stuff in the living room into the library and from the hallway too), and now its a disaster again, except that its not as bad as before, because all of the stuff going to the DI is gone (the DI is Deseret Industries and is kinda like the Good will or Salvation Army), all of the trash boxes are out of there.  I need to finish up in the library and there's miscellaneous things left in the bedroom we're currently sleeping in (which is supposed to be the guest bedroom, but since my queen sized bed doesn't fit up the stairs its temporarily our bedroom) and the section of the hallway closest to the living room.

Also, tonight Justin and I go to see my friend's husband, who's a bishop (from the Mormon church) to see if he will be able to marry us on the 5th.  We got the marriage license yesterday!!  Things are coming together very nicely and I'm very pleased.  I got most of the apartment done this weekend, like I wanted, and I'll be putting together my party favors next weekend!  I need to get my computer up and running, because I am not hand writing them all again! I did that with my invites to the barbecue and that made my hand cramp up! LOL.

I am getting so excited!  Another 11 days and I'll be Mrs. Danielle Fish... It seems surreal to me, but I know now more then ever that I want this with all my heart.  All the fears that I had before just seem so foolish and are completely gone now.  I have a better understanding of what it means to be a wife, and am looking forward to this new phase in my life.  Its really hard for me to accept and deal with change at first, but once I get used to the idea, I usually throw myself in with open arms and mind and look forward to it. 

Oh! Another happy note!  My cousin Diana sent me my cousin Andrew's email address!!  What's kind of ironic is that I had just recently found his letters that we had written back when we were in high school and was wondering what happened to him!!  So I was totally excited when my cousin sent me his email address and I wrote him immediately! I've already gotten a response! I'm super excited to be communicating with my family in New Mexico.  I don't say this often, because I don't want to sound ... I want to say pernicious, but that's a bit too harsh... what's the word I'm looking for... haha! Poser! I'll use one of my cousin's words.  I don't want to sound like a poser, but I do feel truly blessed.  I'm not one to praise god and thank him for all that he's done, because I'm not sure how I feel about God, or how I've felt about him for the past 15 or so years, but it is how I feel.  I have so much to be thankful for and I am just so glad that I have my family and friends to support me.

Thank you everyone for all the years that you've known me! I love you all from the bottom of my heart and am super glad to have you in my life.

Love,
Danielle
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lick
Aug. 19th, 2009 @ 09:57 pm Today was really productive
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: sleepy
Surprisingly.

I ended up leaving early from work, because I had such a bad stomach ache. I woke up with a stomach ache and almost called out but decided to try going in and seeing if I could make it.  Well, I was getting worse and worse, so I came home and slept for about an hour then got up and made Justin his lunch. After that, with his help, I found what I needed to finally send my invitations to my wedding reception, which is really good.  I hand delivered the ones I needed to, and I mailed the ones that needed mailing.  Its nearly 2 weeks until the wedding reception, and this is as long as I can put it off... Most the people I sent the invites to I know aren't going to come (the mailed ones), but there will be plenty of people with the ones in town.

Then I went and got groceries. Hooray.  We have food!  I like food. :D  I actually made quite a bit of it tonight for dinner... Justin wanted hamburger helper, rice, and mashed potatoes. :D  So I made it all.  I have a ton of left overs for lunches this week.  So, I consider today to be really productive.
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Dizzy piggie
Aug. 17th, 2009 @ 04:03 pm New layout
Current Location: mom's house
Current Mood: hungry
Current Music: School Food Punishment - Butterfly Swimmer
Yep, I decided to change things up and get a new layout.  Not much to report, since I've just been at mom's doing laundry, lol.

The music is new and is Ryan's new favorite band ever! So I'm listening to some of it. Its not bad. Not as perky as H!P stuff, but its definitely not bad.  In fact, the instrumentals are pretty impressive. And the singer has a good voice.
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I'm Cheesy
Aug. 16th, 2009 @ 02:29 pm Wow
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: I think something Hamasaki Ayumi lol
I can't believe its been over a month so I last posted (when I say that, I'm not including a backdated post).  Things have been truly hectic.  I had a nervous breakdown, called off my wedding, put it back on, and am still in the process of putting it together.  As it is, we're doing a small ceremony on the 5th of September (this is brand new news) with just our parents at the park where I'm having the reception BBQ.  We're hoping to get my friend Karen's husband, who's a bishop over in Helper.  He married my mom. But we should have booked it a long time ago! Ugh.  I don't really want to talk about what happened, except to say that I had a freak out that consisted of cold feet and PMS.  It was not a shining moment for me, but I do have to say that because of it I am more certain now then ever I WANT to be married to Justin.  I am so in love with him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.  There are some people that think they know what's good for me and think he is not, but you know what? I don't care.  If you people can't be happy with my choice, then you don't have to be in my life.  He is the man I am choosing to marry.  He is MY choice.  And I love him very much.

Also new in my life: my new apartment!  Let me see, I sent a picture to my email, let me go get it and upload it:

There it is!  There's four in this "complex," and all the units are the same.  The master bedroom is upstairs.  Oh, my unit is the one on the end. LOL, just to clarify.  The plants in front there, there's flowers but there's also tomatoes! Fresh tomatoes! Yummy! I've already had one and it was seriously the best I've ever had!  The landlord said to help myself, so I did! YUM!

What else? There's three bedrooms.  The master, upstairs, but I couldn't fit my bed up the stairs! So we're currently sleeping in one of the smaller rooms downstairs, closer to the front of the house.  Then there's a bedroom at the very back of the house, where the bathroom is, and I've made it my library.  The kitchen is at the front, next to the living room and is very tiny, but I love it. :D  This is my new home!  I'd show pictures of the inside, except its not done at all! There are boxes and totes everywhere still! Granted, I've been working on it steadily since we moved in on the 6th, but still.  I have a lot of stuff.  I can see more of the living room floor though. :D

As soon as more of it is done, there will be more pics to show, or maybe a video. ^.^

Aside from my new apartment, I've just been working like crazy.  I did a 12 hour shift one day last week and no way am I ever doing that again.  Sitting in a small gray box for 12 hours in one day is enough to drive a person to drink themselves crazy!!  Seriously, that was a nightmare.  No more.  And my ops manager asks me almost daily, do you wanna stay til 9? I'm like, no. My mom thinks it wasn't that bad, but really, it was.  I'm there 40 hours a week, I really don't like being there longer.  AND I get the 40 hours done 4 days now, not 5, so I'm there 10 hours a day. Seriously long hours... But I love Love LOVE having 3 days off!!  Lets me get so much more done now!  I know, not posting blogs... but I should be better about that now that I'm nearly finished with my apartment.

Wow... a whole month.  A month since Anime Expo and Morning Musume and Yossi.  You know, I'm STILL in awe over that whole experience.  I don't think I'll EVER get over the fact that I met and got autographs from my favorite Japanese band.  I have a picture of the two things I got autographed on my desk top as my wall paper and I still just sit and stare at it (because the items are securely away until I get a shadow box or something to hang them in).
This is the pic I have as my wall paper:

Its just awesome to me and I don't think this feeling will ever go away.  At least, I hope it doesn't.  The only way I could top this feeling is if I went to Japan and go their signatures there.  But getting them at AX was perfectly awesome. XD

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Cute little kitty

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